A story of the history of the Church

God says eggs should be poached

God says we should poach eggs because when
we eat them, they make us fit and
healthy in a world full of sickness.
That's it. Call off the search! It's
God's word so that should be enough.
Everyone understands this so those who
believe in egg begin to poach eggs and
eat them. Healthy people exist among a
world full of sickness. The sick see
the healthy people and ask them why they
are healthy; they answer... poached
eggs! God says we should poach our eggs
and eat them. The sick person asks "how
can I poach eggs?" After a short
discourse on poaching eggs, the sick
person goes away and poaches their own
eggs. They become healthy. Job
done!

Over time some of the leading egg
poachers decide that it would be better
if we made an omelette. These are
thrown together quicker, have more
ingredients and taste better. Soon
everyone is making omelettes! They eat
them, they taste nice and you can even
have your favourite ingredients in the
mix. Strangely those who are sick seem
unconvinced of this omelette lifestyle.
Generations live and die enjoying
omelettes yet confused as to why only a
few sick people ever get well.

Some study this phenomena. They examine
the ingredients.... eggs and stuff.
What can be the problem? We're not
missing anything out! The things we have
with eggs are harmless cultural
variants. Could it be the pan? The
heat? The omelette eaters? The
Antiegg?

Time goes on. Some experienced omelette
makers are employed to provide cuisine
omelettes. The leading omelette eaters
defend their omelettes as being the
best. Some question these eggsperts but
soon learn that those with more eggs
have more eggs for a reason: God trusts
them with eggs. Experienced omelette
makers continue to dish out the goods
weekly as the Omelette of God. Some
cook, most eat. The cooks become
revered. How special is it to be the
maker of omelettes? Eggrachies emerge
to reflect the level of eggcellence in
cooking omelettes! Generations learn to
never question the omelette or the
cook.

The omelette becomes sacred and holy.
Convinced that omelettes are the way
forward, some translate the word 'poach'
as 'omelette.' Some write books on the
best ingredients for effective
omelettes. Purpose driven omelettes,
the prayer of omelettes and the Alpha
omelette all become standard works
regarding omelette eating. Still, only
few sick people become omlette eaters.
The reason still revolves around the
antiegg and the deggle, the unseen evil
whose destiny is to burn in heggl.

Omelette groups emerge. Some like one
ingredient with their eggs and some like
others. The groups meet together and
their favoured ingredient is
celebrated. Omelette eaters go to the
street offering omelettes to sick
people. Few take the omelette. Those
who do often quit omelettes soon after
trying them.

One day an omelette eater decides that
he is quite capable of making his own
omelettes. After a diet of the same old
ingredients, he begins to question why
the omelette is not making people better
as it should. He consults God's word and
is shocked to find that eggs should be
poached and eaten by each person. He
tells his cook that he wants no more
omelettes and the cook gets eggstreamly
irritated. He leaves the egg-house and
pursues the poaching discovery. The
cook, in true eggressive fashion, tells
the other cooks that this ex omelette
eater has gone bad.

After a while he meets others who have
discovered that God said we should poach
eggs and eat them. This was eggciting
news for this poached pilgrim. He began
a wegg site and wrote a book, begging
people to re-eggsamine the word of God
regarding poaching. After consulting
fellow poachers over his findings
regarding poaching and the like, he
began asking questions why we need cooks
when we can all poach eggs and eat
them. He began asking why we need the
house of egg when the egg is in us all.
He found that the first poachers left
poaching instructions and the way fellow
poachers can help each other. None of
this involved the ingredients that were
to constitute omelettes. In fact, the
way the egg is prepared was the very
centre of all what would bring about
egghouses, cooks, omelettes and sick
people remaining sick.

Having eaten and sometimes even prepared
omelettes for people, he could
understand how omelette eaters remain
omelettized. However, poaching is God's
way and that's that. Those who have
eggxited the omelette way and taken on
poaching can confirm that they are
getting more healthy day by day. When
more people begin poaching it could have
an effect on the sick people in the
world. That was eggsactly what God
wanted.

Maybe some day we can all realise that
God wanted eggs to be poached and
eaten. Omelettes, no matter how well
cooked, do not have the desired effect.
Poached eggs were supposed to change the
eater and that change was to be seen by
those who had no egg. Eggs and poaching
instructions could be passed on to those
who saw the effect of poaching, but
omelettes could never do this.

Omelettes remain the egg of choice and
are offered to the eggless on a daily
basis. Stop making omelettes and get
back to the poaching that God
instructed. Then you will be able to
show people how to poach their own eggs
and be changed themselves.

Gary Ward
self declared egg poacher of the year